Time hop- reminding me of how far I have come.

On the days I feel uncomfortable with my body, pictures like this remind me of how far I've come. My body is not perfect, and it never will. I will probably always struggle. Pictures like this though, remind me of how far I have come. How hard I have worked to not feel that way anymore. 2 yeas ago I was so unhappy. I felt miserable all the time. I was embarrassed of how I looked. I was still wearing maternity clothes because nothing else fit me. We always would get take out because I was too embarrassed to eat out in public.

I have always had body issues. Always. I was never able to embrace my body no matter how it looked. That's my own demon. I can look at my friends and family and never see size. When my friends call themselves fat it offends me bc they are stunning. But I could never look at myself in the same way. 

Every morning I woke up, I was immediately aware of how big I was. Every time I walked past the mirror, I wanted to cry. I avoided getting dressed because knew nothing but stretchy pants or maternity pants would fit me. I couldn't bend over! My stomach for my way. I was winded just waking up my stairs. Every little motion from getting a drink of water to adjusting my shirt felt like a chore. I felt trapped. There's better word to describe than trapped. My smile was always forced because I was just uncomfortable and miserable. 

Sound a little dark? Maybe a little extreme? Sure. It's exactly how I felt every single day though. Yes, I still struggle to love my body but, I have finally been able to let go of those feelings. I have gained confidence, respect for myself, and love for myself. While those feelings are in the past, they are still a part of me I haven't fully let go of. To remind myself of exactly how I never want to feel again. Every time the scale goes up 10lbs, I have to remind myself how easy it is to get back to where I started if I let myself. So I hold onto that to remind myself. To give myself a fact check when I start to get lazy with my workouts and careless with my eating. 

Now, I can smile without forcing it. I don't hate getting dressed. I don't let my weight dictate my anymore. It's a freeing feeling. 

I share this with you because I know I am not only person out there that ever felt that way. I know it because I lived it. I can relate to that feeling and I know how to use to change your life. Please, don't ever hesitate to contact me if you're feeling that way! That's what I am here for.